Its funny; when you put on an outfit or a certain article of clothing, and you suddenly remember the last time you wore it. It might hit you right away or in the middle of your day of work and suddenly you have a fit of rage, or a crying spell, or simply regard that one last experience as a treasure that you’ll always keep regardless of how it made you feel. Because whether or not you can help it, you remember falling in love with that person or that occasion or that thing. And it will always be special for you. Same thing with anything like a book, a scarf, a box of magnetic words, tickets to a basketball game. There might be times when you doubt that since I don’t talk to you or call you, that I’ve forgotten or don’t care about you or the time we spent together but as it was. I will never be able to forget. Why, you may ask. Why would I not call you, or write you, or ignore your messages. Its because sometimes its easier and less painful to just move on then continue to focus on past romances and passions and friendships that might never pick up where we left off. Honestly, I’m tired. Of constantly wishing I had stayed instead of leaving, sure I was happier. But it felt like it was a temporary happiness that I was constantly looking to the future for something to happen and I would lose it all. In the end I guess I just loved everyone to much and the thought of anytime in the future where I might not be able to be with any of you, would just be too painful. So I decided to leave early, disappear like I always do, and leave everyone and everything I had grown to love behind for the future. And even though I still keep those things that tie me to you once and for all time. That single piece of your lives that I stole from or borrowed or was given. I will never be able to thank-you all enough for what you had done for me. I’m not a person for temporary happiness, relationships I can see the end of, I saw the end like I always do. I’m sorry but I had too move on it wasn’t a right fit. Balance is what I wanted and needed. And it just wasn’t there for me. Nothing left to say.
It’s funny how you can notice how much someone has changed if you compare what their tumblr is now as to what it was. I mean for instance if one gains a boy/girlfriend. Are they changing for themselves or because someone is pressuring them to, are they actually happy or are they trying to disguise the fact that the only reason they have this boyfriend or girlfriend is to show that one person that they can survive without them. To show that one person that they were wrong about them. But honestly is it worth using that person to get what you want, is it worth hurting that person to show the person that spurned your advances that you are nothing if not vindictive when it comes to showing how much of a bad-ass you are. CRBRS. I don’t know how well off you are now that I have no way of knowing or finding out for myself, but treat yourself and your boyfriend with some class.
Friends opening sequence.
I shall start with whatever floats into my mind, and move on from there.
Whatever happens is what happens I promise no commitment, but only
spontaneousism.
